wtffundiefamilies:

wisdomeagle:

vassraptor:

gallusrostromegalus:

prince-atom:

gallusrostromegalus:

screaming-towards-apotheosis:

Hey @gallusrostromegalus i feel like you could math this out because, bread Jesus

That is amazingly confident of you to think I can do math, but let me try.

So, according to the nurtritional info on the back of Broadman Church Brand commuion wafers, a singer wafer/serving is 0.32 grams or 0.0007 lbs.  We therefore need 10,000 communion wafers to make about 7lbs.

The Challah loaf on my counter weighs pretty much exactly a pound, so I used that to measure me, and I am about 6 loaves high and 2 wide, but given I’m a short little gremlin, we’ll assume Bread Jesus was about 7 loaves high, making his mass a total of 14 loaves, or 14 lbs.

Therefore, one Bread Jesus is about 20,000 individual communion wafers ($317.40 if you were going to buy the 20 1000-ct boxes)  I can’t offer nutrition facts on that mass in communion wafers becuase since the nurtitional value of communion wafers is measured in single servings and thefore legally don’t have measureable calories, but 14 loaves of Challah is about 17,920 calories.

HOWEVER, that’s not what this person is asking.  They’ve resumably never heard of the Bread Jesus, and proably want to know how many wafers it takes to consume an Actual Jesus.

So the average height of a Man in Modern Isreal is about 5′9″, but accounting for better nutrition in the modern era, Jesus was probably closer to 5′7″.  The “ideal” male BMI for a 5′7″ man is 135lbs, but given The Dude was suffering from ye olde timey malnutrition and starved prior to his death, I’m gonna ballpark him closer to 120.   
Huh, jesus is smaller than I thought.

(120/7)10,000= 171,429 wafers (rounded up to a whole wafer, you’re not going to be taking halfsies) 
Which would cost about $

2,720,578.23

and take you 3287.7 years to eat, if you take one wafer a week at communion.

Sorry, Gallus, you’re off by a factor of 1,000 on the price – it’s going to cost about $2,800 to buy that many wafers in lots of 20,000.  That’s assuming you’re leaving part of the last box.

Yeah I figured I’d mess up somewhere, I haven’t had a formal math class since high school and barely passed that. Still, good to know that consuming an entire Jesus is more affordable than I’d thought!

This is an excellent line of research, but I think there’s a possibility you’ve overlooked. Does .32g of wafer represent .32g of Jesus’ body? (Also there’s the blood to account for, but putting that aside for now.) Or does the host represent more or less of him?(*) Maybe he boils down to a smaller quantity!

In regular physics if you changed .32g of something into something else, at the end you have to still have .32g, but some of that .32g might be energy or smoke or water vapour or something. But this is religion, not science, and doesn’t need to obey the rules of physics. Does transubstantiation require for the (sorry not sorry) conservation of mass?

* My gut feeling here is that very individual wafer and sip of wine collectively and severally becomes the entirety of Jesus every mass, so you eat a whole Jesus every Sunday, but I have no relevant education or experience to back this up. I would love to hear an expert opinion on this!

… I’m not sure this opinion qualifies as expert, but it’s an excellent question for Holy Saturday.

My gut feeling is that one (1) Jesus is present in every instance of the Sacrament, so the total amount of bread that is consubstantiated (I am Lutheran) at that service = one body.

So in the simplest case, if one housemate and I have communion together, and consume all the remaining consubstantiated bread (or angel food cake), we have each eaten ½ Jesus. I think this is so even if ze has a very large portion and I a very small one – or even if we are joined by a hypothetical third person who is gluten intolerant and cannot bodily consume the bread, then each of the three of us would have 1/3 of Jesus.

I also think though, that for the same reason you can’t have communion by yourself, one person will never eat all of Jesus.

(I’m actually not sure if the logic is the same with transubstantiation. Consubstantiation is helpful here because you don’t need to assume an identity of bread and body – housemate might eat 7/8 of the bread, but is still only consuming ½ Jesus)

For further research: what about those pieces of bread which are consubstantiated but not eaten? All the elements need to be either consumed or scattered outside; I’m not sure if the local wildlife end up eating some percentage of Jesus? maybe?

@belldam

This is the best word problem I’ve ever heard.

Seriously, I was going to reblog this for the hilarious cuteness of the question, but now I’m just, like…impressed.