if that sewer clown makes himself an image of your worst fear before he eats you, i could kick his ass. what’s he gonna do turn into the physical manifestation of being abandoned by your closest friends? gonna turn into an ooky spooky visual representation of catastrophic failure and loss? jokes on you dumbass the only thing im afraid of is myself
i dont think american filmmakers realise how huge london is, because sure you have the london eye and houses of parliament but when you say ‘london has fallen’ what??? so the nandos in catford is in flames? the tesco in peckham has descended into chaos? wtf??
We have states bigger than your entire country
ur largest city
london
Oh…. honey….honey no
I’m about to blow everyone’s got damn mind.
Not a metropolitan area, just fucking Jacksonville.
so is it a thing in (american) english to use “texas” as a word for like, something that’s out of control or chaotic, or as like, “crazy”? like “that party last weekend was totally texas!”
because that is a thing people say in norwegian and i just think it’s important for americans to know that?
this is the best thing I’ve ever heard
i’m sorry wHAT
This is like the time I found out that in Israel “Ma po ze, Chicago?” (What is this, CHICAGO?) is a saying for when people are acting unruly.
in finland if something is far away or in an unknown place we can say that “se on huitsin nevadassa” (it’s in nevada) you can also politely tell that you’d wish someone to fuck off by wishing that they’d go to nevada
I am both amused and nodding my head at the accuracy.
Apply to a job, wait (1) day, then call. Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application.
When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly, tell them your first and last name.
Describe your experiences as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years] costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.
Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.” “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”
When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now).
Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.
When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy.
If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)
Questions for after the interview:
1. Does this position offer upward mobility?
2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)
Then, shake their hand, Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it.
AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices.
DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone. In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate.
__________
The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com and Simplyhired.
I knew this but I’m reblogging cause someone might not know
I’m saving this.
A note from a former interviewer:
The “give us a situation where you blah blah” questions are what’s called behavioural interview questions. They are looking to assess a personality trait rather than a skill level. Usually the traits they are looking for are listed right in the job posting: time management, teamwork, customer service, etc.
Before the interview, Google “behavioural interview questions.” You will find ones that apply for the traits the employer is seeking, and you will also find information about how employers score these questions.
In the interview, try to figure out which trait(s) the question is trying to find, and tailor your answer accordingly. A customer service answer isn’t always the best choice if they are looking for your leadership ability.
Answer these questions using the STAR method:
Situation – background to the story you’re about to tell
Task – what the problem/challenge/goal was
Action – what you did and how it went down
Result – how your action solved the problem/challenge or achieved your goal, and improved things for you and others going forward.
(Bonus: show some forward thinking. How did you act to keep the problem from happening again?)
And try not to lie if you can help it. If your example isn’t all it could be, talk about what you would do differently, knowing what you know now.
The only thing I disagree with in this advice is the repeated daily calling. I find that shit annoying as hell, and I have literally shuffled people to the bottom of the pile for calling and interrupting my work day. Maybe not all employers (or editors seeking new book authors, in my case) are like me, but I really hate being bothered repeatedly by phone and I will definitely count it against you in the hiring process.
But hot damn, everything else is objectively, universally good advice!
does anybody have that one comic of a stick person driving home and suddenly thinking “penis” and making a face that looks like
I KNEW I HAD THIS SOMEWHERE AND THIS IS THE FIRST POST I FOUND EVEN RELATED TO IT ON GOOGLE. AFTER LIKE AN HOUR OF DIGGING THROUGH VINTAGE MEMES I FOUND IT.
PkCaramel 