i never want to hear another thing about “ethnic-sounding names” from white folks when I just today checked a white guy out at the library and his name was literally “pelican”. twenty years ago a white couple popped out a child and decided to name their kid after the patron bird of the vore fetish. fuck you
fuck you for making me read the phrase “the patron bird of the vore fetish”
Tumblr is reportedly proud to announce their newest feature: Tumblcoin. Tumblcoin is the latest in the entirely unstable cryptocurrency market. The social media and publishing platform claims that the currency is somehow assured by the platform’s unceasing flow of high-quality memes and low-quality shitposts. When pressed for details, staff was heard mumbling incoherently.
The new Chief Coin Officer of Tumblr eventually stepped up to explain: “As more users like, reblog, and create posts, more coins are mined for their portfolio. Because it’s so easy to keep creating new Tumblcoins, no one will ever be in short supply. We’ve also opened up the world’s first store that accepts TBC. You can now buy the hottest items any member of the Tumblr community could possibly want, like old Horse Friends or the world-renowned missing E.”
for those who dont get it missing e was like the proto-xkit, a browser extension from the early 2010s designed to improve tumblr cause believe it or not this website used to be a lot fucking worse technically
but the thing about it was that tumblr absolutely DESPISED missing e, like i cannot overstate how livid they were at the time that someone was better at designing their website than they were. they started having these popups appear saying that missing e was like, a virus or some shit and it was malevolent and that the act of having missing e installed meant you weren’t allowed to receive support from tumblr staff.
like forget whatever happened with the original xkit guy, tumblr, as in the website, the staff behind the website itself, ACTIVELY ran missing e’s creator off the website because he was doing a better job of making their site than they were
this was what you used to get popping up if you were using missing e. all of this shit was a complete lie. additionally it was only meant to pop up if you were using missing e, but there were like 100s of instances of this appearing for people who had never even heard of missing e, and i know personally that i ticked the box several times and it KEPT popping up regardless
PkCaramel 